Ménage

When I was little, my family and I used to visit my cousins because we were very close and we’re around the same age. Their family were doing better than us financially so they had things we didn’t. My brothers were excited to visit them because they’ll get to put their hands on the latest toys. Game console was a hype back then.

There was one visit when I was sad and angry at the same time. As per usual, my siblings and I would get into the house and greet my aunt, uncle and cousins. The boys will then rush to play games. I was left with the rest. Then I heard my brothers chattering – where’s the console? I found the game but how can we play? Cousin, can we play your games please?

Then my cousins told me, they actually hid it because they’re scared that my brothers will spoil their toys. Then, I saw my brothers running to the living room and was trying to politely look for it. I knew exactly where they hid it because they told me but I couldn’t tell my brothers. I knew that it’s not ours to begin with, so we have nothing to fight for. If they’re not willing to share, we can absolutely do nothing.

I learned to respect other’s possession, then. I also learned to not ask for things that is not mine. I learned to protect my brothers’. Since then, I told them not to fancy others. We’ll have to work on our own. They did.

We are now at a position where we put our family first. We trust us more than anyone else. We do because we understand that we come first, the rest comes later. We learned who among the bigger family truly care and who didn’t.

Thank you for the wisdom.

 

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Text

Hurm, you know I’m extremely emotional when I write back to back.

This is a lesson I learned the hard way.

A few months ago, I had a misunderstanding with my friend. It’s all because of a text message. Bear in mind, I have nothing against social media and technology advancements. I find them very helpful to a certain extent. What happened on that day was I read the text in a skewed emotion. I felt as if she was being rude to me. It’s a norm in our culture (me and her) to ask permission before proceeding with something. Needless to say, I was taken aback when she acted differently. I took it to the heart. Things got tad complicated afterwards. Long story short, we confronted each other and the misunderstanding was resolved. Albeit not entirely.

We grow apart. We don’t talk as much, we don’t laugh to each other’s jokes anymore and it takes a lot of effort just to say hi. Funny how things could go wrong with just a text.

What can I say; once it’s done, it’s done. Damage has been done to our friendship. We’re not enemies but we aren’t exactly friends either. We’re more than just acquaintances. So, where do we stand?

To her, I am sorry.

Lesson learned.

Till then, may peace be upon you.

Leaving

I may not have the purest heart. In fact, I am struggling and I have been reflecting quite a lot these days.

Have you ever been in a situation where you know what you’re doing is wrong but you can’t help it? That is the sort of feelings I have.

I appreciate that everyone is different. We all require different things. The simplest thing; cleanliness. On one extreme, we have people with OCD and on the other end are people whom couldn’t care less. In between those two groups, are the rest of the world.

I, myself, am not an OCD. I took the test and I’m negative. It’s just that I like to have everything clean, ordered, placed properly and essentially, ready for whoever is using next. That’s just common sense, for me.

Our variety in characters are meant to be complemented. People complement each other like a jigsaw puzzle. I might be lacking in one area, so my friends will help me out and I’ll learn from them. Vice versa. Same thing if we’re talking about marriage. Things will only work out if both sides take responsibilities – takes two to tango.

However

The smallest matter would be disastrous if it’s not tackled. Theoretically, an empty cup is light when we first hold it. What if, we were to hold it for an hour without placing it down. Our arms will grow weaker. It’s not because the cup becomes heavier but because we are starting to lose our strength.

Because I believe in different personalities; I tried not to impose my belief on someone else. There were times when I just had to talk to someone for me to see from another angle.

It’s not easy and I fail to do it over and over again. At least, I tried. It’s hard to have a peace of heart when you consistently question other’s actions. “Why did he do that?”, “Why can’t she do this?”, “Why is it so hard to do this?” – I end up feeling exhausted trying to make sense of the world. In the end, I tell myself to just let it be. It is a heartache, still. Then again, problems aren’t solved that way. So, I braved myself and say it. Only to be answered with nonsense. This is when I know, I have to leave. So, I’m leaving.

Sorry

Everyone makes mistake.

For that, we’re always sorry.

But some people just don’t.

They either don’t acknowledge their mistake or they do, but don’t intend to improve.

For example, you’re always late to an appointment. You stood the other person up. Or, you say something but end up not doing it or delaying it.

The right thing to do is apologise. What isn’t right is, to keep doing the same mistake.

As I grow up, I learned that, saying you’re sorry is empty words until you prove you’re sorry. You may ask; how? Act like you are.

This is my take. If you’re sorry, that’s saying, you won’t do it again. For all the promises you made, you’re going to keep it. For all the words you say, you’re telling the truth. For all the errors you’ve made, you gonna amend it – at your best.

One of my pet peeves is breaking promises. I’ve experienced it my whole life. These people aren’t worth of my time. You did that twice (I give second chances), I’m done with you. For instance, two people whom had agreed to meet at 2 but one kept on delaying the meeting and in the end, didn’t meet at all – reason being, I didn’t see the time or I’m lazy or I was talking to someone. Nothing important.

Question.

Why do these kind of people exist?

I strongly advocate us to respect others; their time, money, effort, feelings, thoughts, etc.

Till then, be respectful.

May peace be upon you.

The Odds

We all have our distinct way of feeling and perceiving something. Education, family background and interests are just some of the factors make up for the difference.

*For the sake of gender neutrality, I am going with masculinity. Oxymoron, but, oh well.

My friend once asked me if he was insensitive to others. At that moment, I remember disagreeing to the statement.

As time went by, I realised that he was neither completely sensitive nor insensitive. There were things he could relate and there were incidents when he couldn’t relate. It took time for me to realise that. Simple, but could change the relationship for a better or worse.

For some, hanging out for hours is energising but not to others. There are times when people love to be with others and there are times they need to be alone. The threshold of how long we can bear socialising differs. This contrast, I believe, dictates our daily life too.

As for me, I like having my friends over. Talk over matters that range from pointless to thought provoking. However, depending on what I have in hand, I’d need time for myself afterwards especially if I’m racing against deadlines or worse, exams.

On the other hand, there’s a friend of mine who just love to be with people and doesn’t find it hard to study in the noise. He could just be in conversation and still get all the information into his head. Naturally, having some me-time isn’t necessary for him.

Hence, if that friend of mine treated me the way he treated himself, I may not be able to comply. Maybe, I’d go against him and we will end up fighting. Vice versa.

So, how do we find the balance? How are we supposed to know what that person likes and dislikes?

I couldn’t give an exact answer but what I usually do is, I read the cues. If that person talks a lot, that means he is engaging in the conversation and is happy to continue. If that person’s attention is deviated to something else, that just indicates he is a gonner – no point holding him back. Cues could be so subtle like in those cases or sometimes, it’s crystal clear. For instance, a person saying “I really enjoy this” or “I don’t think I’m fit for it” or “I need my time” or “This tastes really good”.

Our actions after all the cues reflect ourselves – either an altruistic or straight-up oblivious.

Till then, peace be upon you.

 

Losers

I am mad. Really mad.

I just don’t get it. Why can’t people be more responsible?

From not doing their job to dodging something with the most childish “I don’t know how” reason. Sure, I was born with all these knowledge. That was a sarcasm just in case your brain can’t understand it.

It really gets on my nerves when people blame their nature of being to not do something. Worse, if they refuse to do something just because they have no interest in it. Sure, just do what you gotta do like watching movies or travelling or playing because after all someone else will take care of the issue.

Grow up!

Stop being a jerk. Stop taking what is not yours. Stop blaming others for something they don’t do. Stop throwing false accusations.

Can you please do yourself a favour; have integrity.

 

Unsung Hero #1

Once upon a time, a mother had to let go of her son, unwillingly. The boy’s sister decided to bring him back home.

That particular day, both his mom and sister placed him in a crate and floated it in the river. The mom went back, no mother in her right mind would do that, but she had too. The area was filled with the emperor’s guards. They were looking for boys – to kill them. Under the emperor’s order, no boys were allowed to live. The emperor was told that there would be a child who’d deny his iron-fist administration. He was scared. As to not entice suspicion, the mother went home.

However, the boy’s sister decided to do the opposite. She wanted to know his brother’s fate and she knew she had to be subtle. She watched her baby brother’s crate with the tail of her eyes. As she started to lose sight of it, she started to walk towards it whilst casually plucking flowers, leaves, fruits and whatever there was along the way. The guards didn’t find it odd. They thought she was finding food for her family when instead she was actually looking after her brother.

The crate reached the emperor’s place. The empress, a woman herself, wanted to keep the child. She succeeded to stop another innocent child from being killed. She then searched for a woman who can feed the child. Women queued in hope they’ll be the one. The empress wasn’t an exception. They all failed to nurse the child.

The child’s sister was at the back of the line. When it was her turn, she made an offer to the empress and emperor. “Would you like for me to show you someone who can care for the baby?”. She didn’t say “a woman who could breastfeed him” because she knew that there would cause unnecessary speculation. So, she asked a highly  reasonable and yet,general question.Both the emperor and empress agreed. So the sister suggested her mom.

The boy was reunited with his mom again.


This is a real life story. It happened thousands of years ago. It’s the story of Prophet Musa a.s. However, this is a chunk of Musa life. (28:11-12) This verse particularly discuss and emphasizes the role of Musa a.s’ sister in ‘returning’ him back to their mother. A story of an unsung hero.

Till then, peace be upon you.

Terror

I thought Islamophobic wasn’t a real thing.

It is still not.

If I may, this thing shall be called listen-only-don’t-study.

What divine religion would encourage killing?

I’d like to speak on behalf of muslims, we are not terrorist. We don’t kill people.

Those suicide-bombers aren’t us.

Can you please, differentiate us, the muslims, from terrorists.

There is no verse in the quran supporting whatever they are doing. When others offer peace, God decreed us to accept it at instant.

During war, muslims cannot kill elderly, children, pregnant women , animals nor can we demolish religious buildings and plants.

Oblivious people condemn halal meat, citing it’s a cruel tradition. Islam honours the animals. When slaughtering, the knife has to be really sharp and it has to be done once and for all right at the jugular vein. Do yourself a favour, study anatomy. In addition, other animals shall not see when the other is being slaughtered. The animals should reach a certain age to be slaughtered; the young ones are not to be slaughtered. So does its moms.

Islam empowers their women by giving them the liberty. Women are not restricted to learn, work and even join a war. The history of Aisyah r.a. , Asma’, and Khaulah, to name a few, are the proof. If today there is a community doing the opposite, know this, that’s not what Islam teaches.

Hijab, in a total contrast, is not an oppression but a liberation. It allows women to be represented by what is in their brain rather than merely on what they have for display. I personally think that the headscarf doesn’t add to foolishness. I must say that it hurts when people argue about it when in fact they know nothing.

I think it is time for us to stop labeling. Respect each other and live with honour.

Till then, peace be upon you.

Autumn, here I come!

… or it’s you who’ll come.

I realised that I have more things that I want to do than I initially thought.

I was reading The Pawsome Lion. So here are #my11things.

  1. Read, read and read
  2. Learn how to cook
  3. Visit places
  4. Volunteer
  5. Do actual interior designing
  6. Start a business
  7. Attend classes (religious, language, sewing, etc.)
  8. Get fit
  9. Have some me-time
  10. Gardening
  11. Do #1 to #10 with my loved ones

Worth a thought. I should keep track of this list and see if I can cross anything out by the end of autumn. Wish me luck!

Till then, peace be upon you.

Too fast

By now, many would have heard the news.

A school in Malaysia was set on fire.

But not many were smart enough. When the news was first reported, people made false assumptions and hurtful comments. A large majority blamed the principal.

One of the most popular remarks public made was questioning the decision of installing grill to the windows. Alright, let’s turn the table around now; what if the windows were not grilled. Imagine a student died, no lets make it – a student broke his arm falling from the second floor of the school (which by the way happened to the fire survivors who jumped from the top floor). I imagine that the ‘unpaid juries’ would still put the blame on the principal for not putting enough securities.

Here’s my logic, the school cum hostel housed not only teenagers. They have primary school residents too. A 6-years old boy would be at risk of climbing out the windows and fall, wouldn’t he? Hence, the grilled was there to avoid such incidences.

Not saying that he did no wrong but it wasn’t all his fault.

A few days after, when the investigation came out with 7 new suspects, public shifted their anger to those teens. Really?

Not saying they are innocent either.

Thing is, people are fast at making uninformed conclusions. All of the unmindful comments are making things harder for the victims’ family. When people have nothing to hold on to, they’ll settle for the lesser. In this case, when the family or public has no one to blame, they will tend to blame the authority – principal.

Now, let’s not jump into conclusions. Y’know, Saidina Ali r.a. once said, words pierce deeper than sword. So, guard it!

Till then, may peace be upon you.