Handful

Assalamualaikum.

It took me a few seconds to think of a nice greeting. Soon to realise that I’m a Muslim which means giving salam is the most appropriate thing to do.

Anyway.

I’ve been having issues with myself. It’s either a growing up thingy or it’s just a short-lived hobby. Albeit the reality having to study and revise, I kept on investing my time scrolling down Pinterest or watch YouTube. I’d be watching home makeover, cooking channel and to my surprise, make-up tutorial. Why do I surprise myself? Simple, I don’t do make up.

What I’m studying now is a total opposite to things that I enjoy watching/browsing. I enjoy both sides although they are of two different extremes. Haha, politically correct! I guess  Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde were like that too.

I wanted to do so much. I’ve been wanting to go home to cook so many dishes and reorganise the house. I even asked my sister to snap photos of the bedroom so that I can plan the ID. Awesome!

But the thing is, I haven’t succeeded in doing it once. I’d be a mashed-potato couch once I reach home. After all, home sweet home. Who would sweat when they’re having such a sweet, distressful time? I know I am very least likely to do it. Unless my parents call me to it. Trying to be a good daughter, aite.

I gotta get my priority set. Just a few more weeks to summer holidays. You can do this!

By the way, appreciate it if you guys can pray for my success.

Until then, may peace be upon you.

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Jarge-meyntal

Hled’me!

Y’now the feeling when people start scanning you as if you’re ain’t wearing a thang? I hate it!

For some reasons, I feel that I was that kind of person. I’d scrutinize every person who walked pass me. I had been warned so many times not to do it. I blame the unconscious mind for that. Little that I know, it became an unwelcomed habit. There was a time when I enjoyed the luxury of judging others. I would observe every little thing that the target does, the way he/she socialize, what clothes s/he’s wearing, etc. From all the observations made, I’d be Sherlock Holmes and pretending to know the person’s life.

But then, as I grow up, I started to understand that making assumptions of other people is not right. I do not want it to happen to me, and for that reason, I mustn’t do it to others. This brought me to a particular issue.

Public humiliation.

There’d be people who doesn’t agree with us. But that doesn’t give us the right to belittle them publicly. To top it off, people are spreading it in the social media. For some reasons, the smartphones have outright the smart people.

Personally, I would suggest a different approach. If there’s anything that seems odd, consult personally. Bashing them in the comment section would less likely to work. They’d probably have their reasons. Although what they did is obviously wrong, we should still talk it through.

For example, would you still punish a child who steal a 50 cents bread for his dying grandmom? A child who has nobody and know nothing but to safe his granny. Things could be worked out, this problem could be solved in many ways but punishing.

All in all, there’s no space for judgemental people in this society. We need to learn mutual respect. Spare sometime to understand others and stop jumping into conclusion. Narrow-mindedness would only offer disputes.

Till then, may peace be upon you.

 

Growing Up!

“Dude, that’s ridiculous.”

I didn’t understand, then, what it means to be an adult. Adults were complaining of so many things; the bills, the education, the healthcare. As a child, I find that being an adult is more fascinating. We can do all we want and we can have our own money. Buy our own car and live in our own house.

Basically, it is rather true given the fact that you have all the money you need. Which on the other hand, is not true for most people.

I hated growing older when I was 15 or 16. Yep! I am that weird kid. I didn’t like the fact that I am about to leave school and go to college or university. I remembered reading an article mentioning age 15, I felt old.

Perhaps, I didn’t enjoy leaving my parents and home. I value freedom as much as anyone else. I’d love to hang out with friends and do stuff on my own without being strictly supervised. So, I give it a thought. Why do I hate getting older?

First of all, I feel uncomfortable knowing that my parents are aging as I am getting older. C’est la vie! It is just me. I’ve seen so many people incapable of managing themselves at the age of 70 which is quite rare, I guess, in some other countries. I want my parents to be able to care for themselves even when they are 90. It isn’t for my own pleasure but rather, it is for them. I’d like them to enjoy themselves because they rarely get the chance to do it whilst they were younger.

Secondly, the burden of taking responsibility. This is quite childish, I know. The mandatory part of being an adult is to take into account views from different angles. It is difficult to just focus on one thing when deciding. More often than not, we would have to weight the pros and cons. We are at no expense to “just do it” because we know that there’ll be a consequence. If things go well, it is at our odds. However, if things go wrong, fiuhh, we probably have to be in constant detention class. If you know what I mean. There’s no turning back. Once you do it, it’s done. The past is in the past.

Nevertheless, there’s always a bright side to it. Getting older means that you become wiser, relatively. As we live our day, we get to learn new things. With every experience, there’s a lesson. Always look on the bright side because the past can only be either a motivator or a determent.  We, as adult, has the right to choose.

“To get what you love, you must first be patient with what you hate.”

Imam al-Ghazali

Until then, may peace be upon you.

Unfavourable decision

Hello everyone!

I have to admit that it is rather awkward to start with such topic. People would probably go for introduction on their first post. Unfortunately, I am not. Let’s just get to know each other with every post, shall we?

Or maybe, I should say something about myself. Here you go!

Truth is, I am neither new in blogging nor an expert. I call myself procrastinator. I write when I am in the mood but I enjoy reading most of the time. I am quite random in terms of thoughts. Hence, I find that writing is a good medium of expression without having to speak. I am easily inspired with words. I can tolerate thick motivational books compared to lengthy motivational speech. For now, at least. That’s prolly my very brief introduction. Heh!

Moving on.

I didn’t want to start with such a negative post but, in order for one to embrace the new future, one would have to reconcile with the past. If this post is too vague, you can always put yourself in the situation. That’d help you to understand better. I hope.

Sometimes, letting go is the best way. I thought that was simply rubbish. It didn’t make sense to me. I believed that we have to give what it takes to achieve our dream. I believe in endless effort. Hence, letting go of one’s dream is absurd. It was, until I learned it the hard way.

I fought hard in every battle to achieve it. I was almost there- just a few more steps from the finishing line. Then, things went wrong, or so I thought. Everything crushed into pieces. Pieces that can’t be mend. I was in despair, greatly. Words can’t describe it. I felt suffocated. I blamed everyone, including myself. I hated my life. I can’t solve the puzzle. People kept on saying that things happen for a reason. I got irritated since I couldn’t reason things. I thought it was the end of me. I begged for a second chance. I cried hopeless tears. I sleep on crushed dream. I choked myself with every breath.

Then, I remembered.

We plan, so does Allah. His plan would always win as He is the all-knowing.

“…and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know” (2:216)

It doesn’t mean that we should stop dreaming or planning our lives. Instead, we have to work for it. We have to do our part i.e. putting the effort. However, we have to leave it to God to decide. God will always give what is best for us. Although it is hard to grasp the concept, that is the truth. We often rely too much on ourselves that we forget we are imperfect. There are things beyond our reach and control. We have to make full use of what is in our hand at the moment instead of worrying too much of the future and grieving the past.

Let’s take baby steps. Life is a process. Hopefully, we’re growing with every mistakes and winnings. Insya Allah.

Till then, may peace be upon you.