Parents

I thought twice to write this.

I didn’t want people to misunderstand me but sometimes, I need the reminder.

When I was small, I couldn’t wait to be a grown up and have everything on my own. I thought life was very simple. Finish school, get a job, buy a house and a car. On days when no boy ruined my mood or I met a cute one, I even hoped for a husband. I’ve also planned to buy brilliant things for my parents and repay their deeds.

I don’t know if its age or peer pressure. Either one, it’s pushing me to do things instantly. As you may already know, I do part-time work and thank God, I’m paid every month accordingly. I have this urge to spend it on my family, especially my parents. I plan to bring them on a vacation, a short get-away. One that’s within my budget yet nice. It doesn’t have to be Europe or a 5-star hotel. As long as I can afford it and it’s fun for them, I’ll be more than happy.

However, my parents have not agreed to any of my proposals. They want me to save it for myself. They said I can do that once I’ve graduated and got a proper job.

I can’t even pay for their meals. I might have done it once but that’s because my parents forgot to withdraw their money and I was already sprinting to the cashier. I went straight to the toilet afterwards so they couldn’t catch me to pay me back.

Parents are one of our best treasure. The best gift in human form, really. They always put us first. They don’t mind starving whole day at work just so their children get their pocket money. They don’t mind working extra hard to earn more to ensure that their children get the best.

Sometimes they came back from work looking weary and we greeted them with, “You’re late dad/mom. Where’s food? I’m starving to death”. At times when they had nothing left in the pocket, we ungratefully asked them for money “Mom/Dad, I need RM15 for a school trip”, and when they asked us to wait or explained that they had no money for that, some of us refuse to understand. RM15 might seem little for some but not until you’re the one who have to work for it and pay for everything.

I get really upset when I see young teens getting all dressed up and wearing expensive clothes and make-up if I know that they’re not buying it using their hard-earned money. I know some people who spend beyond their limit and keep asking from their parents when I know they are from low to average-income family.

I’m not stopping them to enjoy their youth but there are so many ways to do it. Spending a small pool of money on a RM20 cup of coffee, RM200 jeans, RM300 shoes, RM15 movie ticket, RM10 on popcorn set and God-knows-what is just, ridiculous. I don’t mind if your parents are wealthy. Go ahead! I’m not going to stop you.

In short, I do think people need to learn and spend within their means. Secondly, we need to appreciate our parents. We’re not going to be here if it’s not for them. Thirdly, choices are ours, so do the responsibility of making the choice. Be wise.

Till then, may peace be upon you.

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Cursing

I curse a lot. More often I curse alone. There’s a temporary satisfaction to it. The satisfaction then turns into guilt and embarrassment. A respectable man once said,

Filthy language is used by people who don’t have maturity or intelligence to express themselves with better words.

– Nouman Ali Khan

At times, it’s very hard to control our anger and disappointment. Many resort to using foul words to express it. The angrier they get, the harsher the words. Thing as simple as dropping a cup could trigger a person to say ‘sh**’. Do your maths what would be uttered if someone hit one’s car.

I had (still having) a very challenging days where one of my group mate was not cooperating. It could be my overthinking skill to question his reasons but I still gave him chances to prove me wrong. One day, I had enough. I had to get him out of my way and put this to an end. So, I emailed the lecturer in charge to inform and hoping for a solution i.e. to exclude him from the group. I was disappointed with the response. The lecturer asked me to proceed and do nothing about the guy. Lecturer was saying “let’s not drop anyone for now. It’s a good chance for you to learn how to handle the group. Let the person decides based on his consciousness”.

#$^%^&*@%$^??????

…and here I am, talking all by myself, “Ahha, excuse me. I’ve done everything I could to get him involved. If he’s not replying or picking up calls or showing up, what more can I do? Go to his freaking house?!”

Then my brother told me to just let it go. You do you, I do me. It was hard. Still is. But, the willingness to let go, gave me so much peace. I knew that the guy could be worse and was already thinking all of the possible scenes during our presentation day. I was a mad pessimistic lady. It wasn’t helpful. I couldn’t concentrate on my works. I felt uneasy and there was a constant resentment to that guy.

Then, my brother came in and stroke me straight up, “Halting your work because of one problematic person, isn’t a good trait of leadership and team work. There’s always someone who has to do shit but why would you let that stop you.” I laughed at myself. Ooohh, that hurts. Okay abang. Silenced by the strong wisdom.

Didn’t know that my brother could sense my overwhelming stress (I didn’t think it’s stress. More of an anger and fighting for justice). Even I tried to deny it – but I’m a horrible actor, so eventually everyone knows.

Anyway, after the unsatisfactory reply from the lecturer, I prompted the lecturer with a more close-end and straightforward question, “Kindly advise me and the others regarding this matter” and CC-ed to the dean (cause the lecturer said he had discussed it with the dean). Then only I receive a clear-cut answer. Basically, we’re going to have a feedback sheet and we could mark our group members. So, that’s reassuring enough.

Do keep in mind that the decision was agreed by the other member and was a result after discussing with the deputy dean (deputy dean was acting as our adviser) who also advised us to report to the assigned lecturer.

During this period, I’ve said countless cursing words. I was so angry because I couldn’t tolerate such behaviour. However, I managed to be professional when talking to him as not to spark any nonsense arguments because,

The moment you start arguing with an ignorant fool, you have already lost.

-Saidina Ali

In the end, I learned a thing or two. You have to try your best but when it doesn’t work, you have to understand that it’s no longer your fight. Just like the classic rabbit and turtle, you have to carry on with what’s best for you and don’t let the arrogant rabbit stops you from reaching the finishing line.

Until then, may peace be upon us.

What is this service!?

I guess I’m quite a fussy customer because I belief that everyone deserves to get the best service, or at least equal to anyone else who pays the same price.

IT gadget service provider:

In my previous post I mentioned that my keyboard wasn’t working and apparently, I had to send it twice. Today, I went to collect my laptop and albeit the buttons are softer now, the space-bar key is still not working properly. The technician said that it couldn’t be help. I am mad. But I’ve lost hope for them. I plan to go to the center and ask for their second opinion.

Dermatologist:

I went to this established private dermatology clinic. You can see their advertisements on highway billboards. They were on TV and tabloids too. God, they left such a great first impression.

I traveled for over an hour to consult the founder. Alas, I was given very bad consultation. Mind that I didn’t tell the doctor that I’ve actually seen another specialist because I didn’t want to influence his decision.

M: Hi doc. I’ve got a condition. I went to GP and they prescribed me with such-and-such treatment. But it’s getting worse now and I couldn’t take it anymore.

D: Oh, how long has it been? Where else do you have it? Is there any trigger? Oh, this  might be this condition.

M: Can you explain it to me, please?

D: Urm, it’s a skin disease. Many people have it.

M: How did that happen?

D: Well, it’s when your skin replenishes fast.

….

I didn’t like the consultation. He didn’t bother to tell me anything. I had to ask him everything. I paid him hundreds for such a lousy service. He prescribed me with a very strong medications because every time I apply the cream, my skin shrinks (you know the thing you have when you’re in pool for too long). That was the last time I went to see him. Now, whenever people ask me about the clinic, I told them to forget it.

ENT specialist:

I had clogged ear. I went to a clinic and they weren’t solving my problem. So, I went to see a specialist. Everything was fine until the doctor went overboard with his conversation.

D: Are you still a student?

M: Yes.

D: You’re quite old to be a student. What are you studying?

M: -my course-

D: That’s a boring course. What’s your job perspective? Shouldn’t you have graduated. (counting with his finger) Yep, if it’s a 4-year program, you should’ve graduated few years ago. Did you started late?

M: (I was already annoyed) Yes, I did. I can become this and that.

D: Oh dear, that’s really boring – stuck in a room for  long time. Uffffff… It’s really is boring, innit?

Mind that he repeated the word “boring” a few times. It really got onto my nerves. But I had to hold it in cause I need him to suck the water out of my ear.

I really don’t understand why would a person, so educated, be so ignorant. I am your patient, the hospital’s customer. I paid for the service and did no wrong to you whatsoever.

Here’s what I have to say:

Regardless of who we are, we have to respect others. Everyone makes their own choice  because it’s their life. Not everyone enjoys being a doctor; be in medical school for 5 years, getting tortured for 2 years, having limited time with the loved ones and losing a few more years to build the career. Some people may even view being a medical practitioner as something lousy, nerdy and pitiful. The way we see life is not the same with everyone. I respect the profession,  in fact any profession. I was taught to respect everyone not just someone.

Here’s a piece of advise for myself, and others.

Don’t get trailed when you are at the top because who knows when things are going to tumble. Don’t brag when you have everything because it won’t last. Don’t belittle others because one day, you might be working for that person.

Until then, may peace be upon you.