Troubled mind

How do you know when to stop?

There was an incident when a member wasn’t content with something. The decision was entirely made by the person-in-charge. I wasn’t involved although I did offer to help but no, my help wasn’t needed. The PIC wanted to do it on her own because it’s her job and we both agreed that my ‘power’ is nullified when I’m in her territory – sorting the teams was not within my ability. In order to respect the PIC, I backed out and played no role in sorting the teams.

However, since I was the leader, I was held responsible for everything. So, this lady texted me and poured out her dissatisfaction. I knew too little to tell her anything – why was she placed in that team, why those people weren’t in the same team, what were the qualifications to be in that or this team. The only thing everyone was told before the final list was published,

Don’t be disheartened and do not think that one team is better than the other. I tried my best to place people in their rightful positions and to accommodate those who are lacking. Both teams would have strengths and weaknesses but they’re hopefully overcame with the help of each member.”

I knew that when the PIC said that, I had to be prepared for any team I’m in. I had an open mind and heart. It wasn’t the case for this particular lady. Initially she said she understood that it’s due to her lacking. Then, she kept on pushing me to reason, or perhaps she was only wanting to speak nasty. I tried to console her. It could take me hours to tell every detail but I’ll save it for now. When I knew I couldn’t take it anymore, I asked her politely to consult the PIC. She refused and was stern on her decision to withdraw – two days before the competition.

I knew I won’t be able to talk her through. Thus, I stopped texting her. She wasn’t looking for a discussion. She was right outrageous and mad. Her words were hurtful and selfish. The fact she was attacking me and refused talking to the PIC showed that (1) she was scared of the PIC and (2) she was looking down on me. The fact that she couldn’t accept the result suggested that (1) she was self-centred, (2) irresponsible and (3) childish.

Truth is, she wasn’t the only person who wanted to be in the other team. However, the others were able to sooth themselves and take it positively. They were able to convey the message without causing any issue. One of them came to me and said, “I do personally feel that the decision is loop-sided but it is okay. There must be a reason why I am placed here and not there. I am still going to play.” That was about it. Things weren’t dragged or complicated.

Readers, I know that sometimes we face tough times but it’s not okay to pour it out on someone else. If you find that it doesn’t suit you, have a nice chat. Don’t instantaneously jump into conclusion. Find the right person to talk to. We have to be ready for any outcomes when we start doing something. If you are not willing to handle the possibilities, then, don’t even start. Be responsible with whatever you do.

Till then, may peace be upon you.


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